The dark and overcast morning began with a wake-up call and a piercing headache. It was reminiscent of last night’s liquor, half a bottle of which I knocked back into myself while I watched the second season of The Bargainers.
Boil (a couple of eggs), fry (a piece of meat for breakfast), scratch (sleepy tired hair) – as Lesha said – and here I am already dressed ready to go to work. The half-empty train was a reminder of the people who stayed home today to finish their olivier and watch “Office Romance” for the 59th time.
– Why the hell am I even going to this job?
– Nastya from Impression was given 10,000 UAH bonus at the end of the year and a certificate for shopping at Rosetka, while my boss didn’t even give me a house with candies from Roshen. I guess I’ve lost all appreciation.
Suddenly, my station. It’s time to come out. On autopilot I get to the office and see a happy Tanya – already a typical living attribute of our office and Koloro’s business card. How she manages to stay positive is legendary. Either she’s been recharged with the joys of life somewhere in the past years or she eats a Smashin’ Laughing Bird every morning.
After once again cursing about going to work on the second of the month, I kicked the computer with my foot and its dim screen flashed me a message, “TA-DA-!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Coloronation.”
– Damn it, they didn’t forget! Here it is, the long awaited raise and paid vacation!
All right, what do we got?
10:00 The first pancake is always a pancake
The cunning person who wrote my colorization tried his best and decided to put a rake right next to the starting line. The task is trivial – to raise the morale of colleagues by giving them coffee and chocolate bars. But here’s the thing – they forgot to grind the coffee, and brewing the beans is somehow not comfy at all.
Grabbing a can of coffee beans and a sleepy modeler Vova, I run to the nearest coffee shop to beg for a favor. Hell, the barista decided to take the day off.
– For some coffee to be a barrier to colored employee status? You won’t.
I run to the neighborhood store and buy a pack of instant coffee and another chocolate bar. Well, why? In the end, the wolves are fed and the sheep are safe. And the only one who can tell the difference between instant and cereal is Tanya, who is with me 😉
However, the second part of the task was even more fun: “Most likely, after that your colleagues and subordinates thanked you on Skype, right? We have a sociable team. Screencap the thanks from your employees in messenger, so that you can show off their love to your friends in your blog or on the KOLORO website, for example.”
– Yeah, the thanks just kept pouring in.
So closer to 11 o’clock, I went to blackmail and torture a couple of them. I got it.
1:00 p.m. War is war, but lunch is on the schedule.
“Your job is to take at least 3 coworkers out to lunch. Trust me, they will be so excited that they will want you to take their picture. And if they don’t, make them, a manager should show leadership qualities :-)”
Getting my coworkers out for lunch was easy, but taking pictures was not so easy. They wouldn’t get in the camera themselves, so I had to beg them. Nevertheless, I got the necessary trio – Tanya, Denis and Vova – into my trophy collection.
14:00 Inspiring colleagues
Giving inspiration was commanded by quotes from great people about business. That’s usually what Tanya does best. I had to sweat to encrypt some of them, especially for those employees I don’t communicate with very often.
1) At the root of every successful venture is a bold decision once made. – Peter Drucker, American economist
Flew to Deniska, may he be brave and finally try lemon beherovka. I too was afraid to buy it and stood in front of the shelf in the supermarket for a full 10 minutes. But in the end made a bold decision, and it was worth it.
2) The word “crisis” written in Chinese consists of two characters, one meaning “danger” and the other meaning “favorable opportunity”.
I don’t know if I should believe the Chinese translators, but the quote perfectly described today’s mishap with a cranky wine customer who started to make a fuss inappropriately. So the quote deservedly flew to Andrew in sales.
3) In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice, it is there.
This quote flew out to new Frontend developer Valera when we were discussing the possibility of installing Apple’s operating system on a regular computer 🙂
4) In a moment of indecision, act quickly and try to make the first step, even if it is an unnecessary one. – Leo Tolstoy, Russian writer
Making the first move beckoned to Xiusha, who didn’t want to finish off a couple of remote workers and deal with their grievances.
5) There is never a big deal without a big challenge. – Voltaire
Quote of support for Katya, who is as much at fault with the project claims as Andrei and I are.
6) When designers start discussing their salaries or the money they get, at that point the design studio ceases to exist or becomes a shithole. – Artemy Lebedev
The life wisdom of “Topic” reflects Igor Nikolayevich’s vision of employees’ awareness of each other’s salaries as accurately as possible.
7) We don’t discuss design, unlike many. We discuss: whether the task that was set before us has been solved or not. – Artemy Lebedev
I was trying to explain to SMM-manager Vova what kind of picture to look for for the New Year’s newsletter. I’m not sure it worked, but it sounded convincing.
8) One fool off the street’s answer doesn’t bother anyone. But the answers of a hundred fools are called the result of a focus group study and sold for money. – Artemy Lebedev
Sent it to the strategist on residuals, he didn’t respond, and it made me laugh.
9) Only a fool wins in life, a clever man sees too many obstacles and loses confidence before he can even begin. In difficult times, naivety is the most precious treasure, it is a magic cloak that hides the dangers on which the clever man is jumping straight on, as if hypnotized. – Remarque E. M
Without twitching, such a sheet of vanilla text could only be read by Tatiana; putting other employees at risk was dangerous.
10) Running a household is not shaking your dick! – Statham
AND DON’T EVEN TRY TO CONVINCE ME IT’S NOT ABOUT BUSINESS! Not only the author of the quote will come after you, but also the formidable modeler Vova, whom Igor Nikolaevich once called a Chechen because of his thick beard.
15:00 Editorial time
Tanya sends the text and asks to tidy it up. The material is not structured, the key messages and the purpose it is supposed to fulfill are not clear. It’s okay. I add headlines, dilute the material with facts about the company and add a photo of the author. It turns out to be a great description of the KOLORO philosophy and a tempting invitation to join our team. It’s safe to publish as a universal vacancy on Worke.
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KOLORO – learn how to build royal brands with us
We are KOLORO Holding – an international branding agency working in the field of branding, design and marketing. We are among the top five branding agencies in Ukraine and Russia.
The company’s clients are customers from Russia, Moldova, Ukraine, Belarus and other CIS countries.
Live out a great mission
“We create royal brands that write history.”
Our agency’s mission is to create profitable new brands that will become leaders in their market segment. We have more than 200 successfully realized brand projects to our credit. The brands created by KOLORO generate more than $1 billion in annual sales revenue.
Develop together with a strong team
KOLORO branding agency gathered under one roof young and experienced specialists in design, branding, marketing, copywriting, management, sociology and psychology. That last one is no joke, our account and HR are certified psychologists. KOLORO never stands still and is actively developing. More than 20 competent specialists, can become your colleagues and share a tremendous experience!
The company’s democratic management style and freedom of creativity provide unlimited opportunities for personal development and professional improvement for each employee. Our team is the main advantage of our company. We value each and every employee!
Feel part of the force that is changing this world
The company actively supports various creative and social initiatives, we regularly participate in various exhibitions, conferences, online marathons and organize exciting photo quests.
Becoming a part of the KOLORO team, you will be able to actively develop and improve your professional skills together with a young and dynamic company, in a friendly and creative atmosphere.
We promise that after a month of work our convenient office in the center of Kiev will become for you a second home.
Sincerely yours, nameless manatee in a cylinder.
Photo by the author of the article
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Tinkering is always a fun thing to do, and more importantly, so near and dear to my heart. But it’s too early to rejoice, there’s still a task left.
15:30 Timlid is a public figure
Puzzled to be photographed wearing a crown? Nothing could be simpler. You just have to sneak into the meeting room and find the coveted symbol of power. It didn’t work the first time, but it did 🙂
Mysterious shokapetz!
4:00 p.m. If you can’t turn it down, write it down.
What was the last assignment? The right thing to do is to gather all the experiences of the past day and organize them in the form of material. It turned out to be almost a diary, in which I left out only a few details that have nothing to do with the story.
The only thing left to do is to have a drink and congratulate the colorful head of marketing 😉
Cheers!
